I feel as though I am having a crisis of faith. Why is there so much ugliness in the world? Why won’t politicians act in the interest of the whole nation? Why won’t people get vaccinated? Why are guns everywhere and another school shooting no longer shocks us? I’m looking for sense in all of this. I’m failing. Today’s Gospel from Matthew tells the story of two blind men asking to be healed. Jesus asks if they believe he can do that. They answer yes. Then he heals them “according to their faith”. Would I be fully healed? I’m wondering. On another note, this Liturgical Season of Advent is my favorite season. I love the build up, the scripture readings from Isaiah we use at daily Mass, and the joy I see around me. This year, I am not feeling the anticipation or seeing the joy. The country is so wounded and divided that the belief in God’s great love for us–so great the he sent his only son–is hard to feel. I’m wounded, too and angry. I am angry that science is being denied, that politicians are lying and spewing hate and no one is calling them down for it. I’m angry that a major portion of so called Americans believe elections are stolen. I’m angry that having a civil conversation with someone outside my own echo chamber is almost impossible. I am angry that I have let these and other things invade my psyche to the point that I cannot get excited about the many good things around me. Today, I resolve to deal with the angry beast that has a death grip on my happiness. With Devine help, I will evict it from my heart. Thank you all for letting me rant. I feel better.