Musings about visiting Dad

I am back on the farm where I grew up to visit my dad. Those of you who read my posts will remember that he celebrated his 100th birthday back in March. First I must say that he appears to be healthy. Of course there is always the caveat … for his age. No one wants to be living as he is living right now, least of all him. He is a shell of the man I knew as a child. Then he was hale with lots of energy. Now he moves with a cane at all times and often a walker. I find it really hard to think about the difference, so I just don’t. I take Dad as he is and treasure each moment. Dad is hard of hearing. But if I sit beside him on the couch and face him, I do not need to speak loudly at all. He understands me just fine. Actually I think I have spent more time talking with him lately than in almost all my life combined. I was usually chatting with Mom when I’d visit. I’m not glad about Mom’s death, but this time without her is a special gift for me and Dad. Funny how something so awful can still have an up side. Also I am not letting myself think about the real likelihood that this may be the last visit I’ll have with him this side of heaven. I’m not letting that sadness wash over me. Why should I dwell on that while he is still here? That time will come all too soon, so for now, I’ll just enjoy him. This visit is a blessing and I will treat it as such.

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