Change is good–or so we are told. Yet change is scary. My life is changing, and I am feeling that I have lost control. My husband and I sold our house. We’ve lived in it for over 38 years. Now it will soon belong to another couple and I am sad. The process of downsizing, fixing up problems, saying goodbye is hard, frustrating, and overwhelming. Today I learned that what was supposed to be minor plumbing and electrical jobs are major headaches. I am angry at the last construction company because they did a lousy job. That lack of quality work has now caused me to spend time dealing with calling around to find someone qualified to rectify the mess. There are so many moving parts that I’m unsure what to do next. Everything is highly important, calling for my attention, so deciding which fire to put out next has me paralyzed. This is where faith comes into play.
I’m trying to see the Devine in all of this, but I’m not succeeding very well. I don’t understand why so many obstacles have been placed in the way of making this move. Why is getting the house ready for the new owners becoming such a chore? Such an expensive chore at that! What I keep telling myself is that all will work out in the long run. I will find a plumber and an electrician in good time. They will do the work, and the new owners will have a fine home. And more importantly, I will find a way to forgive the men who did the shoddy work. Once I let go of that and let God fill me with joy, I will be able to face the many remaining brush fires. “I lift mine eyes to the mountains from whence will come my help.”
Still, I am also grappling with this major change that is looming in the not too distant future. We are moving into a retirement community. We will stay in the same town, shop at the same stores, and worship at the same church. So this is not a big change some would say. And I guess from the outside looking in, it isn’t. But in our reality it is. We are leaving the only house we’ve ever lived in as a married couple. We’ve spent 38 of our 42 years inside this dwelling, pouring our hearts and souls into it, the yard, and gardens. We’ve gone through live’s struggles here. We’ve had joyous moments here. Our home has rung with the talk and laughter of friends on so many occasions. We’ve extended the hand of hospitality to many international guests and shared Christmas dinners with “orphans”. We’ve grown old together in this house and loved every minute, every new wrinkle on our faces and every gray hair on our heads. I pray that God will bless the folks who move into our home. I also pray that God will continue to bless us as we begin the next phase of our lives. Change is good, so they say. I trust that this change will be good. “God is good all the time!”